I want chickens!

Life is crazy.  Are you ever sitting and thinking, "I can't believe I'm here now." Because you can't plan your life.  You can plan your things and activities but life is what happens around all that.  The relationships and memories created and developed.  And I wouldn't have ever thought I'd be doing what I'm doing.  But I'm glad.  I like who I am and where I'm going. So yesterday was my birthday.  I don't feel older but I guess I feel a bit different.  Wiser maybe.  It's crazy to think I'm wise.  Or that I used to be foolish and that I'm going to get ever more wise. 

I miss my dorm room.  It was very zen.  I don't miss being in Oxford really, but I am still creating that energy that that room had in it.  It's getting there.  One room at a time, slowly.

Today is a very chill day.  Literally, it is quite cold outside but its also chill here on the couch.  I've been drawing a lot lately. Here is a couple for a taste:

I'm watching American Dad but I have it turned down to about 7 and I have music playing (Iron & Wine) and the muttering I hear from the characters sounds like it is in Spanish or Japanese or something haha. 

There are friends we all have.  We were once the best of friends, but after spending time apart its just not quite the same.  I know that I have changed over the years.  I love who I am though and I don't want to be who I was.  I don't regret.  Regretting is pointless.  Everything is a journey and a lesson and happens for a reason.  Makes us who we are. It sucks though cause my old friend still thinks that we are best friends but really aren't and there is nothing to say.  It's awkward and I find yourself struggling just have anything to say or even caring what they are talking about.  I cherish the relationship we had but I am also aware that despite the old saying ("Love will come and go, but friends last forever") which is totally untrue.  Because love is what lasts.  Even when it ends it sticks with you, forever.  Friends come and go.  The unfortunate truth. Of course love will get mixed up in friendship.  Friends like a brother or sister and they can hurt to lose (DISCLAIMER: there are exceptions to every rule. Some friends do last forever.  I am in no way saying that it can't happen, its just more unlikely.  When you find that person though that you totally connect with it is more likely that you will stay close because you will grow to love them in some form)  but relationships can only grow closer or farther apart, and I think its fading.  

It just gets annoying when every time I invite them out there is some excuse as to why they cant go and they continuously say they can go then bail at the last second (which is more annoying than saying no in the first place) also when they don't even ever invite me to anything why do I even try?

So no more ranting. Here's some good words. 

"In a gentle way, you can shake the world." Mahatma Gandhi

Mav

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

(Sorry about the bleeping words )

arg, we be pirates

Today I was nannying and I was playing a game with Clara pretending to be spies.  I was technically at "Spy Camp" to learn to be a spy and we were having story time and she was pulling these old books off the bookshelf.  I had never looked closely at the bookshelf.  Honestly, I hadn't spent hardly any time in that living room aside from when I came for the interview.  Even then I didn't really look around. I was minding my p's and q's.  Well Clara was pulling the books out and I was intrigued by them because she was pulling out these old photos and notes out of them.  I asked her if I could read them and they were notes from a girl talking about how much she liked this guy.  They didn't seem too old, maybe from the 40's/50's/60's ish (written on note cards) and I was excited at finding them.  In another book there was a note card with a note from a boy to a girl telling her how she would fall in love one day no matter how much she hated it (I think he loved her and she blew him off and that's why he was saying that).  At the end of that note it said, "There is an inscription and a passage marked for you," and I started to scour the book looking for it, but I couldn't find it and Clara and Quinn were all crazy so we put up the books and went into the kitchen.  So Clara wanted to play pirates and so we found this old box full of pictures from when her dad was a kid in the 70's.  One from when he was just a little baby.  It was cool to show Clara those because in one it was his 4th birthday which is just one year younger than Clara.  She then asked me to pick a game and I said lets find something in the house that we haven't ever found before and as Clara went around I went straight back to the books.  I looked through that same book again then started going through the other books.  There were only about five that were old.  I wanted to find that passage the boy (his name was David) wanted her to read.  I saw this book of Longfellow poems and I thought well maybe it was a poem (it made sense to me).  I started looking through it and came across this letter.  Not written on a notecard, written on old paper and all in cursive.  I opened it and looked at the date.  April 1st, 1896.  WHAT A FIND! I got so excited.  I read it out loud to Clara and Quinn (though I don't think they were really listening).  It has bad English and sounds almost as if it is written by a black gentleman.  I love it so much.  It's so beautiful and romantic.  This is how it read:

April 1th 1896

Miss Dausie Rogers,

Darling girl,
as I am due you a letter I will try to answer with great pleasure while you or not thinking about any body down here but if the people here is not thinking about you there is one that is. well how did you enjoyed the preeching I was surprised when I saw you coming I thought you was going to stay untill School was out I had given up all hope of ever seeing you down here any more- will you be glad when your School will be out shure nuff.  but from the way you talked Sunday I did not think you would or did you mean it when you said you was going back I took it for a joke but I doesnt no when you or joking it is all trice with me. but a boy that loves a girl like I do you cant help from beleiving what thay say but that is the way the girls want thim so that thay can have some fun. I hope you care more than that for me. but you never say any thing a bout your fellow that you get your letters from I thought you would say something a bout him Sunday but thay was not a word said a bout him but that a girl never says any thing about a boy when thay care any thing a bout him. when or you coming home again it will seem like a long time if it is not but two weeks the time seems as longer to me as it does to you. well I will close for this time answer soon.
I remain as ever your true friend
T. H. Kennemer

Isn't that just so damn wonderful? I am so happy with this find.  In the back of that book it had been written that Thomas H. Kennemer and Dausie Rogers were married on December 23, 1896.  They also had two kids, Jakley (born Oct 31, 1897 [Happy Hallows Eve]) and Robby (born Nov 9, 1900).  Happy to see that she did, in fact, care for him.

I've been doing some sketches lately, and I am working on a poem.  As soon as it is complete I will put it on here.

intrinsically,
Mav

Upward Over the Mountain by Iron & Wine
(No music video, this was the best quality, but there are a bunch of live versions on youtube if that would suit your searching fancy.)