Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Daughtering Out On My Mother

Mothers form a linked arm line between federal troops and protesters (aka their children):

If you think the protesters are only people who break things then you aren't listening. If you are really more concerned about brick and mortar buildings than the lives of people on the street, and cannot support this righteous movement even moderately, then I'm straight disappointed. You talk to me like a child who didn't read the textbook, but this is so much bigger than that. This is the civil rights movement 2.0 (now in a nicer dress). If my passion alone does not spur you to look deeper into the things happening on the street or to question the authority and it's intent, then what good have I been as a daughter? You really don't respect my opinion to so easily dismiss my concerns. How can I possibly hope to connect with you if, on this massive social level, you put people down when I want to lift people up? You start at hate and contempt for the movement before you even truly understand what it's about. You say "they say it's about black lives, but they are destroying black businesses," like all that's been going on is people with BLM signs burning shit down. That's how I can tell you've been listening to one-sided arguments that bash what's happening because detracting from the movement keeps those people in control. I know that the rioting and looting is unhelpful to the movement and I don't partake and I don't encourage, but I don't lose sight of the actual issue like you so readily do. You don't have anything nice to say about it at all. Do you even know any of the names of the people who have been killed by police brutality? Any of the murdered children's names? Why do you think that people on the street are only trying to destroy and you question them, but you trust, without question, the government to use federal, militant troops wielding "less" lethal shotguns, machine guns and shooting tear gas at unarmed civilians? You say, "Well yea the cops need to reform, but protesters are destroying stores," like the cops needing to be reformed is the lesser problem. Buildings can be rebuilt if we work together and lives easily restored, but if we refuse to rebuild our overall system, things will never get better. You have not shown me compassion. You have shown me willfully blind bigotry. I love you as my mother but I'm disgusted by you as a person of the world. If you were here you wouldn't stand in that line of moms for me. At least, from the way you talk, I don't believe for a second that you would. You voted for a man who allowed your trans daughter to lose her right to medical care. You support this man putting up walls and keeping children in jail cells at the border. You stand behind the federal troops and cry over broken concrete. Why should I trust you to help build a world where I am safe? 

You contradict yourself. For example:  During the 2015 election you said you liked Bernie and his ideas but were going to vote for Trump because "Bernie just won't win." You may not remember this but it's burned in my mind because I saw the cape fall from Superman that day and you were lost to me. Is that what democracy has come to for you? Vote for who you think will win and to not vote for who you think wants what is best for the WHOLE country (not your personal pocketbook). You supported Trump and defended his emotionally unstable state as being just an emotional man with uncontrollable urges, instead of questioning whether someone so overtly sexual, defensive and single minded is really fit to be a president. Also, if we allow our president to touch women inappropriately and tear down anyone who questions them, then how can we hold the rest of the population accountable? You can't be mad at Connor for sexually assaulting me in college and be blasé about a president who literally has agreed with people that he is a sexual predator (video below). You are essentially patting Connor on the back for sexually assaulting your daughter when you support Trump. That's how it feels to me. If you don't stand alongside ME and these other people fighting for equality, for true democracy, for the non-sexualization of the female form then what do you even stand for? 

You say "give legislation a chance to work" but the people have been asking for these things for years, decades even. This is a final straw, not the start of the race. With a political system that caters to the wealthy who can afford to buy votes, that actively disables the lower classes with short voter openings, weird locations, midday openings instead of off hours when people are available and a popular vote that means nothing (not to mention a corruption of mass media and a piecemeal dissemination of information that leaves most people extremely ignorant), how can you say let legislation work? It hasn't been working. Don't talk like this just started 3 months ago. This has been years and years in the making, punctuated by the coming into power of the most tyrannical American president to date and his continuing push to isolate and persecute those of different backgrounds and lifestyles.
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Friday, July 17, 2020

An open letter to my mom.

I'm not an orator.

But I challenge you to the following:

Attempt to see these people on the street as humans, not just anarchists or rioters. Listen to the protesters, not just the people protesting the protesters. This excessive police force they are being met with in many cases is totally unwarranted. Protest is America. This is why we are America and not still English colonies. Why were they justified and these people aren't? Tell me this doesn't look so eerily the same as civil rights in the 60's. Tell me that tear gas, rubber bullets, pepper bullets and the EL RAD sound cannon aren't similar to or even worse than dogs and water hoses. It's so easy to sit up on our white horse and claim equality when historically BIPOC get paid less, have less societal advantages and suffer greater from prejudices and medical/environmental factors. The protests are about black lives AND they are about police brutality at the same time because the sad fact is that they go hand in hand. I challenge you to see all the grey in this situation and stop looking at protesters as "the other." These are people with families and children too. These are mothers and babies just like those social workers you work with. They want the same freedom of peace to walk past an officer of the law that you and I have. The same access to school and nature and housing that you and I have. And you refusing to understand that that dichotomy exists within our society is the exact problem. 

I challenge you to consider these perspectives below. Even more so, in the future, when you are met with news from one source or another that makes you cringe and wonder why, I encourage you to go and do some research for yourself. Don't automatically believe what's being regurgitated to you by a single resource or a heavily biased resource. Look up other resources and make sure they aren't feeding you half the story. I encourage you to be forgiving and understanding, which I am not seeing in you. And more than anything, I encourage you to have hope. The sheer fact that you don't believe we can even attempt gun control, even just the banning of automatic weapons, shows a total lack of hope in humanity and total lack of faith in people to want to live in a safe world. You think white people are the only ones who want to be safe? You really think black people would be protesting against something that benefits them? You must really think low of them. You must really think them stupid.  You can't say you agree we need police reform but then knock the people protesting for it. Pick a lane, mom! Stop being wishy-washy and make some hard decisions about the world around you. Have a mind of your own and stop just spitting negativity at me. I kept trying to say why I thought the people were protesting on the phone and you just kept going right back around to, "They are breaking stuff." So I'm like they are being ignored, marginalized and wrongfully gunned down on the regular and you're like, "but they're breaking stuff!" And I'm like but they have protested before and been promised change that fell through as soon as they got off the street, and they want to see change this time before backing down and you're still like, "BUT THEY'RE BREAKING STUFF!" Don't talk to me if you're going to refuse to hear me and acknowledge my truth that I speak. You can't say you think the police need reform and then call the people on the streets, that are protesting for just that, rioters and talk as if all they want is destruction. Do you even realize your own contradiction? To me, gaining equality for those who aren't white is worth all the buildings burning. What is it worth to you? Or do you not worry about it because it doesn't directly affect you like it does them?  

Elizabeth Keckley said, "What my people are to be, I can't say. I never heard any ask what freedom will bring. Freedom's first." We have to allow space for equality and all its nasty, scabby, yellow pus drippy healing to take place. There is still a lot of prejudiced hate in this world, lots of open wounds. If we constantly say that we can't do something out of fear of consequences then we will never move forward as a society. If you only focus on the possible negatives of a situation then you will never see the whole puzzle. Instead, think about the benefits that would come from re-allocating the police budget that affords them fancy SUVs and riot gear and EL-RAD cannons and tear gas and redirecting it into better training, better schools, more after school programs, community building and local businesses. Consider instead the benefits of a world where guns are more regulated and not on every officers hip. Even if people get them, it's still illegal and if caught makes it so much easier to prosecute. Not to mention possible delays in activities to wait for things to come in, as you say from over the border, which allows for investigation, research and possible infiltration. Yes bad people will still be bad, but that doesn't mean we have to hand them their weapons legally and open the door for them as they head back out into society. If you say you can't treat an open wound and allow it to fester and become infected, no longer is it just a cut. Now we have to take the arm off or risk losing the whole body. Consider the protests, instead, as people trying to heal this cut in the few ways that they know how. Yes, people want freedom, but freedom is not free. It requires cooperation and understanding and forgiveness and growth and adaptation. Freedom is not a static, stone idea. It is water and is ever changing as we grow and learn as a society. The hope should be to work towards a future where very little law enforcement is needed because we've developed a system that the majority of people agree on. When we don't even have to have a census 51% majority to vote in a president and representatives don't even have to vote along with their people, then I would say we aren't working inside a system we all agree on or even have a say in. This is a breeding ground for contempt and misunderstanding. Have you ever considered the art of negotiation? You always high ball so when you have to compromise you still get a lot of what you need. This is protesting! It's very large scale bartering. Social bartering. Hey we will let you have cops and stop protesting/direct destructing if those cops are trained in a variety of situations that don't vilify the arrested and are trained not to automatically shoot me because I'm resisting arrest or running away. And when cops do shoot people to death, let's have a fair trial and consequences, not desk duty or paid leave. Pretty reasonable I think. Protests will continue, as long as cops are given special treatment and immunity from consequences. They are supposed to first and foremost "Protect and serve" not "subdue and control". 

I love you, but I will no longer suffer how pushy you are with social issues. I specifically asked you NOT to speak to me about politically charged issues when you sent me that incredibly disrespectful Bernie video. Don't ask me my opinion and then try to convince me I'm wrong and refuse to move past property damage. I'm allowed to think for myself. Why am I always the one who has to tell you to back off when we start talking about this kind of stuff? Why do you have to push and push and push? You don't respect me and you don't respect my opinion. If you just wanted to know if I was safe, maybe make note of the fact that I was talking to you: healthy, working and finding a new job.  I'm talking about d&d and my boyfriend and his job and possibly moving. I made no mention of things not going well. If you had considered the words actually coming out of my mouth then you would realize this topic of protesting need not have been brought up at all. But you don't hear me. 

I do believe, however, that you are smarter than this and can be better than this. America has the opportunity to be an example to the world. You may not want to be part of that, but that's part of the responsibility we hold as a superpower. We cannot hold onto outdated notions of selective power and selective equality and hope to survive into the eons of time. We must adapt. Freedom is not free.  

Suggested perspectives for your perusal:

Eugene, Oregon has been doing this for 3 decades. We can all take some notes:



A Q&A with that same person that I thought was really well put together:

https://reason.com/2020/07/15/footage-of-partial-blindings-during-anti-police-brutality-protests-contradicts-cops-reports/








We shouldn't only speak up when it affects us personally: 


The article about the above videos:

My tags were expired by over 2 years once when I was driving my sister-in-law's car (not even my car! I just told the cop it was my boyfriend's sister's car she let me borrow, but had no proof). The cops gave me a warning to pass onto her and didn't ask me to get out of the car at all. This is not the norm for all peoples. Example here:



Protests getting derailed doesn't make the issue less relevant. Don't be distracted by those who undermine the cause:

Only partial justice for Breonna Taylor:
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