it's that's time of year again

I guess the holidays always get me thinking. It starts around my birthday and lasts the rest of the year. Just turned 34. Not sure what that even means or why. Been trying to learn more things and read more and workout when I feel up to it. My anxiety meds just got bumped up to 100mg. It helps in some ways but not at all in others. I often daydream about going off grid into the wild style. Been learning about preserving and growing a home garden and watching lots of videos and reading about country living. Finding land that's affordable is next to impossible but i look regularly. Might have to leave the pnw to find something in the range of broke ass. I got things I want to complain about but I know they are just me dragging my feet and I got no right to complain about my own procrastination like its someone else's fault.