You're exibitin' signs of illin'

So I got my book today that had my third published poem. It is the poem "Rose-Colored Glasses" from the blog post "Not a Beach Body but Still a Babe".   My mom is coming into town this weekend.  My brother has to tell her he lost his job.  Sigh.  At least she didn't bring her fiancé. Snark.

Shift and sway and flutter, flutter, flutter
Deep in transit, changing forms

All the best words are sexual ones.  Because let's face it the things we describe with sexual words are the best things, the coolest things.  If we aren't using sex then we are using drugs, like saying things are dope.  Dope is dope. Duh. We like things that are raw and deep and intimate and real.  What's more real than sweat glistening along your back and the slow sway of hips against each other?  Than hot breath making the air humid and sticky and thick.  As thick as a man holding nothing back.  I say it, you can see it.  You can feel it.  Maybe taste it.  That's what words like that do.  Words are power.

I wrote a new poem today.



Vision

Ripples, like water rushing over my body,
in the open spaces of consumption
where a transparent weight fills the blithe corners with sight
and sinks into my bronchi with the full force of disillusionment,

all while my fingers fiddle with the time bomb of change
and inertia that creates a tiny crater of doubt
and confusion before half-closed eyes that critique,
elucidating choices that deteriorate reverie—

ghosting past cerebral restrictions,
melting through tenuous fibers of idealism,
digging into roots submerged by “augmentation”,
wandering amongst endless streams of discernment.


Bonfire - Knife Party
Put a little swagger in your hoppity hip hop. (Also, check out centipede while your there)

Black Stacey - Saul Williams
Loving Saul Williams.  Check out his other stuff on there to, like "Twice the First Time" and "Gypsy Girl" and "List of Demands".  Just look and listen.


Deeply,
Mav

5 months, 26 days, 14 hours and not soon enough

Happy Sunday everyone!

This class I am taking is utterly ridiculous.  This week we talked about parts of speech -_- like that should even be a topic of discussion at the graduate level! I see myself bullshitting through most of this class and honestly not getting a super great grade because I just cannot stand to do the work.  It gives me nerd rage or something.  Yea, I'm honest about not trying in a class.  Why lie?  I hate this class and I am not trying very hard. Take that government and religious people, you don't have to be stoned to not care about schoolwork! Ha! I do a damn good job not caring and procrastinating all on my own thank you very much! (I mean right now I'm blogging instead of doing the work.  Case in point!)  I don't know how far I'm going to get into this masters degree.  I know, I know "it's important to my future" and all that jazz, but honestly I just don't want to be in school.  If I'm going to take a class I want to take a class just on poetry or something like that.  I am starting to submit my poetry to magazines for publication now.  It's hard because magazines don't want something that has been published somewhere else, so I can only send a particular poem to one magazine at a time and wait and see if it's rejected or accepted.  But I'm still doing it and these people pay! Imagine it, getting paid for my writing! It's like a dream! Oh wait, it is a dream and it's happening.  And that's no lie, people. I can use all the money I can get.  I babysit almost every weekend, and it helps but all my extra money these days is going towards court fees.  I'll have it paid soon enough.  For a pothead I'm good at managing my money (for the most part).

So get this! My debit card number got hacked and someone is Britain was trying to use it to buy stuff online so I had to cancel it and now I'm waiting to get sent a new one.  This is cool in a way, but sucks because I had my card number memorized and I'll have to learn a new one.  *Sigh*

So I'm doing this healthy thing and starting tomorrow I'm going to get up and run in the morning.  I'm only going to do this 3 times a week though, because I don't want to kill myself, but I want to lift weights too until my membership needs to be renewed then I'm gonna drop that shit like yo momma dropped her last boyfriend! *snap snap snap* I got a bunch of fruit at the store tonight too! I'm super excited! I love fruit.  They say fruit also makes your puss puss taste really good.  Now I've never had a complaint (in fact I've been told it's deliciously sweet) but shit I don't wanna start getting them now! Especially since I've recently developed a strong fondness for onions which can make your junk smell funky! so gotta clear that out.  I bet you all wanted to know about my cabbage patch didn't you? Too late now, and I'm not ashamed so just accept it and move on.

Incidentally, all I can think about these days is making it to Ocotober and finally being free to move about the country and the world and all that shit.  Being able to visit my bestie in Mississippi and not have to worry about drug testing before and after I go.  Also, finally being able to save money so I can get out of this country and live a little on the wild side.

So in May my family is going to meet the other half of our new "family."  My momma is getting married.  He is strange.  He is ok I suppose, but really he is kind of an odd old man who is very non-artistic.  He is always trying to fix things.  It's hard to explain how he is, but just take my word for it that he doesn't quiiiite fit into our little family unit.  He has three kids and five grandkids.  My family consists of me, my two brothers, and my momma.  (We think its funny that she is getting married a second time when none of us have ever been married.)  ANYWAY, momma is really pushing for us all to meet and hit it off and I just know it's going to be very strange.  I'll be sure to clue all of you in when we have our picnic on May 18.  It's sure to be awkward as fuck and plenty of stories to say.  We have acquired a Griswold family whether we wanted it or not!

The Black Keys - Tighten Up

Where I'm Going - Kottonmouth Kings

Indubitably,
Mav

Help me get where I'm going

PS: I hate this thing where they put links into my posts for certain words that I didn't put there.  Like there is an add for managing money.  Bullshit! This is my blog, keeps the ads on the sides.

PPS:  I was a little behind on my Songs of the Day page, but it's all updated now! :D

HEY!

This is just a quick little blurb post about my fundraiser I am starting for me to earn money to be able to travel to Australia like I've mentioned.  I am obviously serious and if you love me then you will love my dream as well and even want me to go! So please clickety click on the link below and donate as much as you want! I'm not too proud to beg.

Down Under Wonder

So help a little Sheila out. Please, please, please!

And tell your friends! Hey, I've got rewards listed.  If you love me a whole whole lot then I'll make sure you get something extra special!

Hopefully,
Mav


PS: regular type of post coming soon! :D

Threat level Midnight!

I have two computer screens at work and I was able to get one picture to stretch across both of them finally! It's a beach in Australia, where I'm thinking about movie one day, and it's sunset and it's so pretty and it makes me want to be there so badly.  For anyone who has never been there it is b-e-a-utiful and it's outdoorsy and there is the coolest wildlife.  If I want to write I can still send it to the states or submit it online. So it's a win win.  I like to think of it as my own little walkabout.  I need to get away from what is normal for me and really challenge my views.  I know there are more diverse places to go than Australia, but Australia is just so great and I want to learn to surf.  There is also the Great Barrier Reef which is on my bucket list to dive. And just think of the cool ass stoned posts I'll put up from fucking AUSTRALIA! Look forward to it readers because I know I am.

I was taking a hike a few days ago with my friend for his birthday.  We ended up hiking for like 4 hours and 8 miles up and down a damn mountain!  On our way back to the car we were walking along the road and we came up to about five coppa cars and a bunch of yellow police tape stretching between the trees.  In the middle of all that tape was an abandoned looking SUV (I think an xterra) and a couple coppas taking photos of the ground.  There were two more coppas and a state park officer as well.  To my best assumptions what my and I were viewing was indeed a crime scene. We deduced that suicide made the most sense but couldn't rule out murder.  The next day my friend found out it was someone we knew!  He killed himself.  Rest in peace lost soul.  I will see you again across the sea.

I wrote a new poem.  Wouldst thous liketh to read it? Good!


Let me be Addicted

I feel it on my skin

on the tips of my hairs – wet, sticky, high
it’s everywhere just in my reach
keep going
can’t stop
gotta have it
gotta taste it
need it, need you
I need the dry roll of my tongue on my mouth
the buzz of my muscles torquing under my skin – ridged, tensed, let me be addicted

I hear it in my head
every cell responding to its siren song – warm, full, burned 
can’t say hello without breathing you in 
have to feel you to say goodbye 
don’t stop 
take me with you
lead me, love me 
love the heavy lull of my eyes looking through you 
the slow smile lurking on my face – lucid, devious, let me be addicted



1st Song of the day is Olly Murs - Troublemaker
2nd Song of the day is Porn Star Dancing - My Darkest Days

Dancing,
Mav

Where one door closes, a few windows unlock.

Broke up with my boyfriend.  I moved back home to live with my brothers.  I'm pretty much loving it.  I was feeling smothered and tied down and I was getting the itch to move and explore and experience and he just wanted to settle.  The whole twisted, complicated weird annoying story isn't worth relaying because this blog isn't about gossip and horrible reality tv type nonsense but in depth thoughts for the in depth thinker.  Like poor little Pluto and homosexuality and drugs and.... acne!... and stuff.

I saw Django last night and it was great.  Fantastic Tarantino film.  I definitely recommend you all go and see it asap.  RedBox it, dollar theatre, buy it, borrow it, rent it, steal it! Whatever it takes!! I should warn you though that it does have some pretty brutally brutal scenes with lots of hardcore gore. Not a childrens movie.  The movies features Leonardo DiCaprio and Jamie Foxx (who is so sexy if I do say so myself) and it's set a couple years before the civil war and there is this one scene where I think DiCaprio cuts his hand by accident midscene and just acts through it and it makes it that much better! Genius!

Right now I am just putting stuff from the move away in my room.  I love my room.  It's perfect.  Everyone says so.  It's the best room ever.  I think it's because I've decked it out so perfectly its like a part of my soul almost.  It's cozy.  My own wonderland teapot cottage.

OMG I FOUND YOU!!!! I am just so happy.  Something about you speaks to me.

Single by Natasha Bedingfield

You Don't Own Me by Leslie (fucking) Gore!
This is an actual video of her performing the song.  It's not just like the recorded version but it's just as profound and meaningful.

Damn, subtle barbs

On Futurama, if they knew how to preserve the head why wouldn't they preserve the rest of the body? They should just make the whole thing not age.  I really don't think all this stuff on this show is actually going to happen in a thousand years.  Who knows, it might.  I doubt though that we will find that many different species of aliens.  Wouldn't they have already contacted us?  What's the hold up guys? If you're out there and you really are flying in the sky causing light shows over area 51 (and other assorted locations) why wouldn't you make your presence known?  Are we like some wild creature out in the savanna to you? (British voice) "Here we are getting a glimpse at the rare Homo sapiens, commonly known as humans.  Currently there are only 7 billion left in the whole universe.  Due to a great many legislative bills this small planet of their natural habitat has been preserved.  The humans are quickly outgrowing this and we may soon see a drop in their numbers.  It is likely some may branch out and learn to live in our developed zones, but it is uncertain.  For now, we can only watch in wonder as these magnificent creatures go about their daily lives."  But seriously guys.....at least clear up the conspiracy!

Damn my netflix is going slowing than a snail.

Soon I'll be getting my own little den in my apt because my annoying roommate is moving out.  I'm gonna put my favorite wing back chair in there and I think we should get a love seat.  I love love seats. They are the perfect size.  Except for napping, unless its an exceedingly deep love seat, then it may do well afterall.  My Mamaw had a love seat where either half could recline and it was so comfortable.  I'm going to put my tapestry in there.  Then I'm getting a record player and bringing my piano over so I can play more.  It'll be my little sanctuary.  I can also have friends over to toke and go back there.  At least after October 18.  I look forward to my roommate leaving, not only because I am basically taking over his room but because he causes our power bill to go up.  When he leaves his door closed all the warm air stays in there and so it continuously runs because it never gets warm in the rest of the apt and the temperature reader is out here.  It's ridiculous.  Our power bill for this tiny little apartment is like $150 every month.  That's crap!  I bet our water bill will go down too because we wont have a third person taking long hot showers.  It's a good thing.

I want some teacups.  Like nice little dainty type ones.  So I can have teatime in my new den.  (We are gonna put the hookah back there too!)

screw Netflix, I'm putting on Daria.  She won't let me down.

Eh! I hate it when the pudding has skin!

I want a pocket watch.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica

Rebel Yell by Billy Idol
Hotty Toddy

Intrinsically,
Mav

Not a beach body, but still a babe

So I'm watching another movie.  House on Haunted Hill.  Made in 1959, so hopefully it will be good.  This is back when the shrill scream was tops in film making.  That iconic shriek.

Mm I want a cigarette. So I'll have one!

Ah opening credits. I bet that's a pretty house in color.  Just a bored rich guy that wants to kill people.

I'm so out of place in an office.  It's boring.  I don't know when or how to talk to anyone.  And they all say I'm so quiet.  Am I just supposed to walk up to people working and start talking?  I don't know what they are doing or if it's important.  What if they don't want to be bothered?  They are always saying I need to be more engaged but the few times I've reached out it's been met with awkwardness.  And no one ever reaches out to me except David (I think he sees me as a daughter since he has three and no sons).  Most of that is just "How you doing?" "Very good." "Keep at it." (All right together but still, hardly a real conversation).  I'm just not friend with anyone and I don't really see that changing.  I'm just so much younger than everyone else.  There is this gap and even if I had things to say I think they don't think I'd know what they are talking about because I'm younger.  God, I know a lot.  Probably more than a lot of them because I'm not stuck in their tiny PhD bip of life that gives them tunnel vision to the rest of the world.  I don't really think they are all bigoted but they sure aren't giving me anything else to go on.  Everyone else it's a quick hello (if that).  I just don't belong here.  I'm so out of my element.  (Just now [because I'm at work] I said bye to Mark and he was right by my cube and he didn't say anything and I know he heard me because he heard Kelly who is farther away and said bye to her...how am I supposed to reach out to that?)

I made a paper airplane out of a post-it note.  It is really crappy.  I named it the flea because it bites.  Yuk yuk yuk.

White Blank Page by Mumford & Sons
I don't think it's the actual music video but I think it might be. I don't know.  I like it though and you get to actually see the band.  I hate how when you type shit into YouTube and it just pulls up a bunch of covers.  If I wanted to watch a cover I'd search COVERS.  It's annoying, I just want to watch the actual video.


Talking to my mommy,

Mav

PS I got another poem published!

Here it is... a Mav original

Rose Colored Glasses

Rose colored glasses
refracted brilliant sunlight
into the deepest layer of cornea,

burning a hole
through humanity's truth,
alighting the consummate fantasy.